Sunday, August 14, 2011

Everything goes to an end, I guess

Finally, everything goes to an end. Never thought that I've that courage to tell everything to you, and I did it. Yesterday was my 21st birthday, and to be honest and candid I lost everything in my birthday, how great it is. Although it is not a good ending but at least I can heave a sigh of relief. And again, I want to apologize to all my friends, I leave without a word, let you guys so worried about me. I'm fine, I guess. What I did is not easy for me, I have to make a decision which could change my whole life. 3 weeks, I took 3 weeks to make a decision without any interference, I sat alone in the office, in my room to think of everything, and looked for every possibilities that will come out at the end, and finally, I have made it. It would be my another turning point in my life. There are so many 'victims' in this decision, and what I can do is just apologize. I hurt my best friends, few of them, and I didn't mean to hurt anyone, but this is just inevitable. Reality always not follow our will, it always happened in an opposite way which we really don't like to see it. And sorry to all my high school's friends, I removed all of you from my facebook and msn. I promised you all will add you all back after this incident, and again, I'm sorry, I couldn't make it. I broke my promises, I'm sorry. I shunned you guys all those time, and now I still can't get back to you guys, may be I am better off without you guys or may be I am not deserve it. So far, I used to my new life, I don't want to change it back to my previous' life. They always says there's a choice, but for me, there's no choice, there's no other way better than this, I reckoned. I am not running away from the reality, and I know it is inevitable, so I chose to face it, I chose to face the reality. This is why we always called it as 'the ugly truth'. I've tried many approaches to change my life, and I realized none of them are effective, so I chose to leave. By giving this chance, I want to thank to those who sent me a birthday wishes to me via cellphone and facebook. And this year, Chan Yee Wei is the first person who called me and text me from Singapore when the time exactly hits to 12am. Well, I'm sorry for not picking up your call as I am still hesitating should I pick up the call. I want to say a million sorry to you that I hurt you again.
So far, I haven't receives any present yet, but as I know, there will be few present waiting for me to catch it. So, thanks to my cousin sister, my lovely brother, Tan Ying Fang (my college's friend), Jujube, Chan Yee Wei, my aunt and I think that is all, if I'm not mistaken. Last but not least, I want to apologize to my another best friend Foong Chee Loon, I didn't mean to hurt you, seriously. You got me wrong from the beginning, and no matter how I explained to you, you seemed not get it though. Though everything ended with disappoinment, but still we have to move on no matter there are many obstacles out there.