Saturday, February 15, 2014

10 Years of Friendship, 10 years of hardship

After all these years, after what we have been through, it finally comes to an end.
I am happy with your candor answer, the one that I hoped for.
I wouldn't sent you that text if she hadn't update that status on her timeline.
I want to change, to be a better man, to be the one I used to be.
The promises, the apologies, the reneging, everything comes with a period.
I lost trusts on my friends after all the empty promises that you've made(Maybe you remember it all, it is just that you have not achieve it, or time is not allowed you to be, I do not know, and it is not important to me anymore). 
I couldn't trust what they said to me, it was like coaxing, say it for the sake of make someone felt delighted.
Whenever they say something like that, I couldn't help to relate it to you, and my reactions will be terribly vicious, reply with vindictive comments and I find pleasures on it.
It is unfair if I use your way to treat them just because of what you did to me previously. 
You did nothing wrong, I know it is your way, how you treat your friends, how you treat me.
I thought you are different after what we have been through.
I was wrong, my judgement was terribly wrong, I never wrong about something, but this time, I admitted it, I was defeated by you, I was defeated by the cruelty of this world.
I never blame you, trust me, never, despite of what you shaped me now.
From this moment on, I will not hurt my friends anymore, I will try to reconnect it back, go back to where it was, but of course I need time to work on it, and now I am working on it.
Just so you know, I did not cut off all ties with you, this is what you said but this is not my intention.
This never was my intention, I just hope everything back to the normal, go back to its track.
No matter how hard I tried, no matter how many chances were given to you, you will never changed; I am still unable to retain our friendship. This is what it meant to be, everything has arranged by Him, we just have to accept the truth no matter how unwilling we are. 
I know you didn't wish this to happen, not at all, I could tell by your gaze, whenever we met, I can see it through your eyes, the sincerity, the waiting, nothing can hide from my eyes.
Even though you didn't wish to, but I have to, instead of letting this vicious cycle to go on and on, I decided to end it for the sake of myself.


2 comments:

  1. Be content with your choices. That's all i want to say.

    Glad that you are taking actions. Moving forward is always better than standing on the same spot. :)

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  2. Yea, and this time I chose to moving forward instead of turning backward. Thanks dear! =)

    ReplyDelete