These days wasn't good for me..
I feels emptiness, I feels lonely, I'm alone..
I'm avoiding the world, I'm avoiding things around me,
I'm avoiding everything, I'm avoiding my friends..
Sorry for didn't pick up your calls,
Sorry for didn't reply your msgs.
Just leave me alone..
Do not call me..
Do not msg me..
Do not find me in facebook..
Do not find me in msn and skype..
Do not inbox me..
I will not reply..
Just give me some time to deal with my feeling..
I will get through it someday..
I don't know how long it takes,
Just leave me alone..
Everything will be fine after this..
Friday, June 24, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Confused
Recently, I've been avoiding my friends who comes to me.
I refused to answer the called, refused to reply msg from my friends unless he/she is my close friend. I've no idea why?
I'm straying from my path.
My friend were asking me out to have a gathering, I don't know whether I should go or not.
I feels strange to them, it happens in a sudden which I really don't know how to face it.
I am lost. I am fear, but I don't know what I fears about?
I am hesitating, should I go?
I don't really like crowded or a whole gang to hang out, even my gang.
A sudden change making me hard to adapt it.
I don't like to talk, maybe I should write ignored to talk.
I used to talk, and I talk a lot with my aunt, but when comes to friends, I just refused to talk.
I'm confusing why I'll be like this.
I refused to answer the called, refused to reply msg from my friends unless he/she is my close friend. I've no idea why?
I'm straying from my path.
My friend were asking me out to have a gathering, I don't know whether I should go or not.
I feels strange to them, it happens in a sudden which I really don't know how to face it.
I am lost. I am fear, but I don't know what I fears about?
I am hesitating, should I go?
I don't really like crowded or a whole gang to hang out, even my gang.
A sudden change making me hard to adapt it.
I don't like to talk, maybe I should write ignored to talk.
I used to talk, and I talk a lot with my aunt, but when comes to friends, I just refused to talk.
I'm confusing why I'll be like this.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Thanks my BFF
After all these years, all these things we gone through, I'm really glad to had you.
You are the best thing I ever had in my life.
Thank you for calling me and chat with me,
thank you for soothed me with your thoughts, your opinions and your experiences.
I'll try to change, change back to the previous ckc that you knew.
I couldn't make a promise to you, I just will try my own best to do it for my own's sake.
Sorry for kicked you out previously, maybe is me being scare to get hurt by ppl. I am sorry.
I never stand on your side, I never care your feeling, maybe I did,
I just don't want to continue, that was previous me.
And I know, you're treating me so good that you never treat others like this.
I am extremely grateful to you for always standing on my stance, giving me support, caring me, made concession to me and meet me halfway.
Yea, I should learn from mistake, shouldn't regret from mistake.
After chat with you, I realized I never learn from my mistakes and always felt regret of every decision I've made.
Undeniably, I am the only one who never move forward, always stays there, the past.
I miss my high school's life, I wish I could get back there, I lives in my past, I never move on.
It's time for me to get rid of it, let it be a memory,
do not lingering the past, do not too indulge it.
I feel secure when I'm with you, probably you will help me everything out.
You asked me why I seldom talk and keep silent when I am with you both?
Cause I feels strange, maybe we seldom see each other, I need time to work through my feelings, I need time to get familiar with you both, all I need is time. If I make you strange, I'm sorry about that. You really a good friend I ever had, I don't believe in eternity, but still I want to say you're my BFF. Tomorrow is the last day you stay in Ipoh, wish you all the best in your study and have a safe journey. Have to wait until next year only then can meet you, so, take good care of yourself. See ya soon.
You are the best thing I ever had in my life.
Thank you for calling me and chat with me,
thank you for soothed me with your thoughts, your opinions and your experiences.
I'll try to change, change back to the previous ckc that you knew.
I couldn't make a promise to you, I just will try my own best to do it for my own's sake.
Sorry for kicked you out previously, maybe is me being scare to get hurt by ppl. I am sorry.
I never stand on your side, I never care your feeling, maybe I did,
I just don't want to continue, that was previous me.
And I know, you're treating me so good that you never treat others like this.
I am extremely grateful to you for always standing on my stance, giving me support, caring me, made concession to me and meet me halfway.
Yea, I should learn from mistake, shouldn't regret from mistake.
After chat with you, I realized I never learn from my mistakes and always felt regret of every decision I've made.
Undeniably, I am the only one who never move forward, always stays there, the past.
I miss my high school's life, I wish I could get back there, I lives in my past, I never move on.
It's time for me to get rid of it, let it be a memory,
do not lingering the past, do not too indulge it.
I feel secure when I'm with you, probably you will help me everything out.
You asked me why I seldom talk and keep silent when I am with you both?
Cause I feels strange, maybe we seldom see each other, I need time to work through my feelings, I need time to get familiar with you both, all I need is time. If I make you strange, I'm sorry about that. You really a good friend I ever had, I don't believe in eternity, but still I want to say you're my BFF. Tomorrow is the last day you stay in Ipoh, wish you all the best in your study and have a safe journey. Have to wait until next year only then can meet you, so, take good care of yourself. See ya soon.
Monday, June 20, 2011
How To Save A Life?
Things had changed after you went to Singapore.
I've had changed, too much. I hates to text msg and reply msg, I hates to socialize, I hates to be isolated, I hates to make new friend, I hates to be with stranger although he/she is my friend's friend. I hates it all...
I become strange. I don't know why things ended up like this. I was good in social previously,
but now I refused to do so, I don't like stranger come closer to me, I don't like to talk when a gang hang out grab some drink. But I pretending I don't hates it, I acted like the formal 'Me', it was embarrasing, you know? That was outside of me, nobody knows inside me, I just don't like the feeling.
It was hypocrite, but what can I do? Could somebody tell me, what should I do?
Today, I shouldn't acting like this, but I just couldn't handle my feeling, emotion.
I knew it, before we went to the gathering, I knew it, they will just focus on you, they won't notice my present. When they noticed me, my mood was spoilt, I've nothing to say, I just keep silent, they said silent is gold. I couldn't agree more.
Sorry to my friends, let you guys worry about me, maybe I am too indulge myself, maybe I became secretive and withdrawn. I can't find someone to talk to, I always talk to myself.
I can't believe in human, I can't trust human, sometimes I wish I could release it out, but I trust no one, I'm suffering...
My aunt was worrying me getting psychotic disorder, so do I.
I can't address those problems, I can't deal with it, I'm getting sick.
Anyone could pull me off this kind of situation? I want to get rid of it, but I couldn't.
I've had changed, too much. I hates to text msg and reply msg, I hates to socialize, I hates to be isolated, I hates to make new friend, I hates to be with stranger although he/she is my friend's friend. I hates it all...
I become strange. I don't know why things ended up like this. I was good in social previously,
but now I refused to do so, I don't like stranger come closer to me, I don't like to talk when a gang hang out grab some drink. But I pretending I don't hates it, I acted like the formal 'Me', it was embarrasing, you know? That was outside of me, nobody knows inside me, I just don't like the feeling.
It was hypocrite, but what can I do? Could somebody tell me, what should I do?
Today, I shouldn't acting like this, but I just couldn't handle my feeling, emotion.
I knew it, before we went to the gathering, I knew it, they will just focus on you, they won't notice my present. When they noticed me, my mood was spoilt, I've nothing to say, I just keep silent, they said silent is gold. I couldn't agree more.
Sorry to my friends, let you guys worry about me, maybe I am too indulge myself, maybe I became secretive and withdrawn. I can't find someone to talk to, I always talk to myself.
I can't believe in human, I can't trust human, sometimes I wish I could release it out, but I trust no one, I'm suffering...
My aunt was worrying me getting psychotic disorder, so do I.
I can't address those problems, I can't deal with it, I'm getting sick.
Anyone could pull me off this kind of situation? I want to get rid of it, but I couldn't.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Enjoy
It's been two months didn't update my blog, wow, it's just not like me.. lol
Actually I've nothing to write about, XD.
I've been Ipoh, my hometown, more than a month and without getting any job, haha..
Is quite leisure. Why don't I get a job during my vacation? Well, is because I want to rest my body and prepare myself to go further for my long walks.. haha..
And another reason was, my best friend have a term break so I decided to enjoy my day before he get back to study. Although just two of us, (cause many of them 'put aeroplane'), and a lil bit bored but still I do enjoy it. We have two movies in a week, actually we planned for 4 movies in a week to break the record, but we couldn't make it, cause tickets are sold out.. lol, it was pathetic! We watched 'Kung Fu Panda 2' and 'Super 8', well, both are nice though. What else to write?
Hmmm, I've a great friday night with my best friend, well, don't think too much, we didn't do anything, at least not that thing, XD. We grabbed some beers and chatting with each other, it's been a long time I didn't have such a good time with my best friend. I know it wouldn't have another time for us to grab beers to confide in, so I do enjoyed it. That day I was so emo at the morning probably is because listened to adele's songs. And at the afternoon, Yee Wei sent me a msg told me that the plan going to lost world was cancel. I was super duper annoying, so do him.. So, we decided to drink and drunk, just want to let our brains to stop working a lil while. We do not want to think anymore, XD. Let's get drunk and throw everything behind us~yay
Recently, a lot of thing happened on me, I just feels like don't wanna to think and threw it away, when I get myself up, I'll face it anyways.. Haiz
After three days start from now on, my days will get back to normal, so, I'll enjoy my three days left.. Enjoy till the max~ Wuhoo~ I'm looking for a job, any recommendation? Lol..
Actually I've nothing to write about, XD.
I've been Ipoh, my hometown, more than a month and without getting any job, haha..
Is quite leisure. Why don't I get a job during my vacation? Well, is because I want to rest my body and prepare myself to go further for my long walks.. haha..
And another reason was, my best friend have a term break so I decided to enjoy my day before he get back to study. Although just two of us, (cause many of them 'put aeroplane'), and a lil bit bored but still I do enjoy it. We have two movies in a week, actually we planned for 4 movies in a week to break the record, but we couldn't make it, cause tickets are sold out.. lol, it was pathetic! We watched 'Kung Fu Panda 2' and 'Super 8', well, both are nice though. What else to write?
Hmmm, I've a great friday night with my best friend, well, don't think too much, we didn't do anything, at least not that thing, XD. We grabbed some beers and chatting with each other, it's been a long time I didn't have such a good time with my best friend. I know it wouldn't have another time for us to grab beers to confide in, so I do enjoyed it. That day I was so emo at the morning probably is because listened to adele's songs. And at the afternoon, Yee Wei sent me a msg told me that the plan going to lost world was cancel. I was super duper annoying, so do him.. So, we decided to drink and drunk, just want to let our brains to stop working a lil while. We do not want to think anymore, XD. Let's get drunk and throw everything behind us~yay
Recently, a lot of thing happened on me, I just feels like don't wanna to think and threw it away, when I get myself up, I'll face it anyways.. Haiz
After three days start from now on, my days will get back to normal, so, I'll enjoy my three days left.. Enjoy till the max~ Wuhoo~ I'm looking for a job, any recommendation? Lol..
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