Monday, June 20, 2011

How To Save A Life?

Things had changed after you went to Singapore.
I've had changed, too much. I hates to text msg and reply msg, I hates to socialize, I hates to be isolated, I hates to make new friend, I hates to be with stranger although he/she is my friend's friend. I hates it all...
I become strange. I don't know why things ended up like this. I was good in social previously,
but now I refused to do so, I don't like stranger come closer to me, I don't like to talk when a gang hang out grab some drink. But I pretending I don't hates it, I acted like the formal 'Me', it was embarrasing, you know? That was outside of me, nobody knows inside me, I just don't like the feeling.
It was hypocrite, but what can I do? Could somebody tell me, what should I do?
Today, I shouldn't acting like this, but I just couldn't handle my feeling, emotion.
I knew it, before we went to the gathering, I knew it, they will just focus on you, they won't notice my present. When they noticed me, my mood was spoilt, I've nothing to say, I just keep silent, they said silent is gold. I couldn't agree more.
Sorry to my friends, let you guys worry about me, maybe I am too indulge myself, maybe I became secretive and withdrawn. I can't find someone to talk to, I always talk to myself.
I can't believe in human, I can't trust human, sometimes I wish I could release it out, but I trust no one, I'm suffering...
My aunt was worrying me getting psychotic disorder, so do I.
I can't address those problems, I can't deal with it, I'm getting sick.
Anyone could pull me off this kind of situation? I want to get rid of it, but I couldn't.

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